"The Good Shepherd" by Julien Dupree (1851-1910)
Dear God,
This is not what I had in mind.
Remember a few weeks ago when I ended the Transfiguration Sunday sermon by quoting Jan Richardson’s poem, Dazzling? When I said, “Dazzle us, O God! Even as our hearts beat wildly in our chests, that is our prayer. Transform us, O God.” Our current reality is *not* what I was talking about. You’ve misunderstood. It’s ok. It happens sometimes. Please give me a chance to set the record straight.
See, I really just wanted things to continue pretty much as they had been but with maybe more people in the pews and more folks hanging out during our meditation and bible study hour. A few more in the choir could also be cool, as long as they aren’t tone deaf. Lord, don’t send that plague, please... And I wanted to shake their hands. OK. That’s actually a lie. I wanted to hug their necks.
I wanted love to expand.
Also, I wanted to keep my arms around all the things that people expect me to be able to do. After all, I’ve got a reputation to uphold. People at work depend on me to provide support and direction. These minions I live with expect food. SO. MUCH. FOOD. You can’t imagine it, God. And they also want reassurance and time to play and to have fun. But that’s not all. Did you not get the memo that I’m also TRYING TO FINISH SEMINARY RIGHT NOW? This is really bad timing all around if you ask me… And not at all the way I think things should be unfolding. People are having to postpone weddings, others are grieving the deaths of family members with no one other than immediate family around them. We’ve lost our ability to be Your embodied Presence for one another.
Could you (please) find a different way to transform us?
A more experienced pastoral intern would have something better to offer right now. These are my initial thoughts to all this chaos, though…
Wait.
What’s that?
You’ve got to be joking. The lectionary calendar has us reflecting on the 23rd Psalm
this week?!
I. Kid. You. Not. Did You plan that?
Remember the beautiful choral arrangement of that Psalm that Don recently taught us? The one written by Bobby McFerrin that he dedicated to his mother? Maybe I will rest in the truth of those words for a while…
The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all I need,
She makes me lie down in green meadows,
Beside the still waters, She will lead.
She restores my soul, She rights my wrongs,
She leads me in a path of good things,
And fills my heart with songs.
Even though I walk, through a dry and dreary land,
There is nothing that can shake me,
She has said, She won’t forsake me, I’m in Her hand.
She sets a table before me, in the presence of my foes,
She anoints my head with oil, And my cup overflows.
Surely, surely goodness and kindness will follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will live in Her house, Forever, forever and ever.
Glory be to our Mother, and Daughter,
And to the Holy of Holies,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be
World, without end. Amen.
I'm... uh... well... a little bit... dazzled... at.. the... moment...
See you at the church house (via Zoom)!
Love,
Kelly